Friday, January 11, 2008

All I Really Need to Know About Investing I Learned in Kindergarten

While contemplating the lessons that we all try to impress upon our children, I have come to the conclusion that investing in apartments follows the same rules as the popular book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum.

(Property Managers) Share everything, even your parking lot with the complex next door.

(Owners) Play fair, unless you're trying to sell a property.

(Tenants) Don't hit people, except the person who lives in the apartment above you and the police who come out to control the melee.

(Maintenance) Put things back where you found them, especially if you need a few tools for your garage--and an air conditioner.

(Tenants) Clean up your own mess. Don't leave it behind for the owners to pay someone to haul it away.

(PM) Don't take things that aren't yours, unless you need to pay your bills.

(Tenants) Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody, and you end up in jail, unable to pay your rent.

(Tenants) Wash your hands before you eat after diving into the dumpster.

(Tenants) Flush~especially if you dump your cigarette butts in the toilet.

(Owners/PM) Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you, but don't help if you're showing a vacant unit.

(Tenants) Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. And when you draw and paint, feel free to use the nice, clean, white walls in your apartment as a canvas. And don't bother working because your housing is free!

(PM) Take a nap every afternoon, even if you're working in the on-site office.

(Owners) When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together because there's a crazed tenant out to kill you.

(Owners) Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. And when some tenants put their roots down, it's awful hard to dig them out when they haven't paid the rent in months.

(Owners/PM) Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we. Unfortunately, the rodents that the tenant smuggled in don't die until they've chewed up all the carpet and half of the walls.

(Owners/PM) And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK. "Jane in #2B deals drugs!"

Have a great weekend! I'll be back posting on Monday.