Employment Advice for Agents

Although neither my husband nor I are realtors, it should come as no surprise to you that I know many real estate agents. One is a personal friend of mine who lives in AZ. Another is a wonderful man who is the only agent we use in Southern California. I can't say enough good things about him. If you would like a referral, just send me an e-mail and I'll give you his contact information.

That being said, not all real estate agents are equal. Unfortunately today, not all agents are employed, either. The roller coaster market is not the reason why I never became an agent. When asked, I would tell people that being a realtor would take all the fun out of it for me. The good ones work night and day. Weekends off are a thing of the past. And why is it that agents have to have the top of the line cars? None of these things were appealing to me. It's a myth that they set their own hours. Realtors are at the beck and call of their buyers, sellers, title companies, lenders, appraisers, termite inspectors, other agents . . . Ugh! Who, in their right mind, would want to answer to so many people?

However, since many agents have been forced to find a new line of work and I was once a human resources expert, I would like to offer them some employment advice:

~When you are hired as a host or hostess at a restaurant, don't give the patrons a tour of the property on the way to their table. Remember, they just came in to eat, not buy the place.

~If you are applying as the flagger of a road maintenance crew, take off your high heels and business attire. It won't benefit you there.

~As the greeter at Wal Mart, you don't need to ask anyone, "Do you see anything you like?" as they walk through the door.

~If you are a receptionist at the auto body shop, it's not necessary to pretend that the cars aren't broken. You don't need to stand in front of one with a missing fender and try to distract the customer.

~When you are waiting tables, your hourly wage is not based on upselling the patrons. So, if they say that they would like a meal in the $10 range, there is no need for you to point out the $12-$15 entrees.

~As the new sales associate in the lingerie department, it would be unwise to inform a customer that they can always "add on" to make it bigger.

~When interviewing for that coveted job at the car wash, don't call the manager several times a day to ask if he's made up his mind yet.

~If you've been hired to work the front desk at the police station, don't try to plaster your face on every flyer you hand out.

~When filing records at the urologist, don't take down personal information in order to start a mailing list.

~Now is a good time to trade in your BMW for a used flat bed. With a driver, you'll be able to finish your newspaper route more quickly from the back of a truck.

If every broke and unemployed agent follows my advice closely, they should have no trouble finding a minimum wage job to tide them over until the next hot market comes along.