Here is a shocking article. Not really. "Prices will continue to fall in 2008." "Rebound forecast pushed back to 2009." Well, I have even more shocking news for you, folks. I don't think we'll have any rebound in 2009. Prices may start to level out, but a rebound? No. Let's put a personal spin on an earlier market decline in order to determine how this current downturn may play out.
We bought our second PR in 1992. The market had started to sour and we sold our condo in Point Loma (a beach area in San Diego, not far from Sea World) for a little less than it was worth the year before, but more than what we paid for it in 1987. We bought a tiny old 1,000 square foot house up the hill from Jack Murphy Stadium in a section of San Diego called Mission Village. It had a giant yard and pool, but still no garage for us. All this for $165,000. We needed to move. Having two boys in an upstairs condo was enough to drive our downstair's neighbor to call the police on us. Well, I told him to call them the next time he tried to complain. My little ones were running up and down the puny hallway and jumping off the couch. Like I said, we had to move. We seriously looked into renting out our condo and buying another home, but my dad talked us out of it. I'm sorry we didn't.
In 1996, we drove north up the 15 freeway a bit to a section of San Diego called Sabre Springs. It was just a couple of miles away from the city of Poway. Pardee was the master planner and everything from Poway to the 15 was new. We were afraid to buy in a new development because we "knew" that prices in the first phase were always higher than subsequent phases. That scared us, but it was the only information that we had about buying from builders.
However, we found a beautiful 2,600 square foot house with a THREE-CAR GARAGE!! After 12 years of marriage, it was our first garage. We bought it for $256,000 which included the few upgrades that we put in. However, in order for our deposit to be accepted, we had to agree to use Pardee's contracted real estate agent to sell our current home. The purchase price for it was $155,000--which was $10,000 less than what we had paid for it four years before.
So, we have the decline starting in around '91-'92, and still not recovering by '96. By 1998 the development was sold out and a house like ours went up for sale for $294,000. Wow! That was almost $40,000 more than what we had paid. We did a jig. As the years followed, the prices kept creeping upward until we sold that house in 2004 for $835,000, which was $300,000 more than they were selling when we bought our current home in Temecula and rented out the one in Sabre Springs. (I have a very sad story about that area. I've mentioned it in a prior post, but never expounded. One day, I'll give you more details. In life, as in real estate, timing is everything.)
That was a typical cycle--around six years from bust to appreciation. However, would we call what's happening today typical? With the loan fiasco, many buyers who would enter the market now to pick up lower priced foreclosures are unable to do so because of their inability to obtain financing. Meanwhile, we have more houses clogging up the MLS. Not a good combination.
The peak of this cycle seemed to have been in 2005 (although I noticed a little bit of slowing that year, but nothing too significant). It's now 2008. A typical turn around takes much longer than this and that doesn't account for the lender twist. Therefore, we probably won't start seeing values "rebound," or perhaps merely stabilize, for at least another three years, which takes us to 2011.
Only time will tell the accuracy of my, and the myriad other, predictions. For this one, I hope I'm wrong and the recovery is sooner than expected.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Feeding An Army
I've stated many times that during the height of our financial crisis, we only bought food and other necessities. Last night, as I was making dinner, it dawned on me that I probably spend more on groceries alone than others spend for food and luxury items. So maybe our total output is the same as others who may not be as prudent in their purchases.
As I washed the three hearts of organic romaine lettuce for our dinner salad, I wondered if you knew what it took to feed my little army (yesterday's setting was the Navy--I'm just trying to be fair). Then I wondered if you cared. I think that, for people who are not familiar with big families, it may be interesting to know. Not only that, while my husband was out with the kids, I was desperately attempting to come up with a post for today.
Since we moved the baby out of our room last weekend (HURRAY!), I've been catching up on some much-needed sleep, and my writing has been flowing quite well (for me, anyway). Yet, last night, as the house and my Dobies lay quiet, waiting for the light bulb to flash over my head, I felt a block coming on. That's when I was washing the romaine. Shoot, now you know the secret to how I come up with these lame posts!
So, if this doesn't interest you at all, or if you feel that I'm going too far off-topic (which, by the way, I don't think that I am), maybe I'll be a hit tomorrow. You just never know.
I'll give you an average day of meals that I cook when my oldest son is home from college. He'll be graduating this May. He's hoping for a job offer (and has been told that he's getting one) from the company where he's been interning for 18 months (telecommuting from school, at times). So, he'll be moving back in with us and paying room and board for a shared room with his brother, food, and utilities. All his other expenses with be his responsibility. Also, the amounts of food that I use are based on feeding the equivalent of four adults and five children, three of whom eat very little.
For breakfast on most days, I make three cups of organic steel-cut oats OR about 18 eggs and two pounds of bacon OR a triple batch of pancakes (I don't know what this entails as my husband makes it from scratch).
For lunch, if we are having deli sandwiches (our lunches run the gambit of just about everything), we'll go through about two pounds of meat (preferably nitrate free, but not always) and almost an entire loaf of whole wheat bread. Sometimes the kids like quesadillas, so I use about a dozen tortillas (we buy the uncooked 36 pack from Costco) and about 1.5 to 2 pounds of sharp cheddar cheese with 32 ounces of sour cream.
For dinner, I'll give you the example of Salisbury steak. I use three pounds of ground beef and about 5 pounds of potatoes. I've found a great mashed potato mix with only potatoes, butter, and salt. If I use this, I make two of the large packets. That brings me to our almost nightly lemon/olive oil salad of three hearts of organic romaine with 1/2 a package of organic grape tomatoes and an organic cucumber--all from Trader Joe's and less expensive than the conventionally grown produce in the supermarkets. I figure that we save a ton of money on medical expenses (we have private insurance) by eating healthy in the first place. My children are usually seen by our pediatrician for check-ups only.
We've recently eliminated all candy from our diets, except for special occasions. It threw me off guard a bit when one of my sons asked me if he could have an orange for "dessert." Also, between meals my children may choose a snack from bananas, oranges, organic apples, bell peppers, or carrots.
Believe it or not--even with the use of a hand sanitizer when we're out--my kids still catch a virus sometimes, but fight it off quickly--one by one. If they are stuffed up from a cold or have an earache, the best fix is xylitol (pronounced "zylitol") gum. For about $2, xylitol gum will demolish any ear infection in a day. No $30 doctor co-pay. No antibiotics. No pain. This is the most effective remedy that I've used. I have never seen it fail. If my children are too young to chew gum, I put some loose xylitol in the corners of their mouths before they go to bed. Since we've started using this technique, we've have never had an ear infection.
The biggest splurge on my food bill? Raw milk. The cost is $6.95 per half gallon. We buy two per week and only give the kids half a cup in the morning and half at night. If they have a lot of congestion, then we buy an extra one and let them drink more.
So, with all that being said, and keeping in mind that we shop the sales and don't just buy what we want, our grocery tally for an average month is about $1,000.
Living on two acres, it would be ideal to grow our own fruits and veggies. I don't know if it would be any cheaper, but it would be very convenient and nutritious. Right now, we have a few apple trees and a couple of orange and tangerine trees (our lemon tree was eaten by a gopher). They don't produce much. That's probably because it takes more than just planting them, setting up the irrigation, and returning in a year to see if there's any fruit.
The vegetable garden has been on my mind for a while. We have every critter imaginable, so I can't just spread some seed down and water every day. Between the birds, squirrels, rabbits, mice, gophers, every bug know to man, and our loyal watch dogs, there may be nothing left for us. I've considered a giant planter with a wooden bottom and high sides--but birds, squirrels, and mice would still have access.
Anyway, I've decided to scale it down--way down--in order to experiment this year. I have five large 16" diameter planters. I'm going to set those up on an old six-foot patio table in the sun and cover the whole thing with bird netting. If I do it well enough, it'll keep the crawling rodents out, too, while providing access to the "garden". I already have strawberry plants and will be transplanting them after this rain spell is over. Then I'll buy a variety of tomato seedlings. I'd like some cucumbers, but the vine would end up wrapping itself around the table a few times. Lettuce would be nice, but I've done that at another house and the bugs are very aggressive and wiggle their way to the center of the head. Plus, I'd need a ton! Next year, maybe we can do more directly in the ground.
OK, I think I'm ready. There's just one small detail: would someone please tell me how to keep the tomato bugs and slugs at bay?
As I washed the three hearts of organic romaine lettuce for our dinner salad, I wondered if you knew what it took to feed my little army (yesterday's setting was the Navy--I'm just trying to be fair). Then I wondered if you cared. I think that, for people who are not familiar with big families, it may be interesting to know. Not only that, while my husband was out with the kids, I was desperately attempting to come up with a post for today.
Since we moved the baby out of our room last weekend (HURRAY!), I've been catching up on some much-needed sleep, and my writing has been flowing quite well (for me, anyway). Yet, last night, as the house and my Dobies lay quiet, waiting for the light bulb to flash over my head, I felt a block coming on. That's when I was washing the romaine. Shoot, now you know the secret to how I come up with these lame posts!
So, if this doesn't interest you at all, or if you feel that I'm going too far off-topic (which, by the way, I don't think that I am), maybe I'll be a hit tomorrow. You just never know.
I'll give you an average day of meals that I cook when my oldest son is home from college. He'll be graduating this May. He's hoping for a job offer (and has been told that he's getting one) from the company where he's been interning for 18 months (telecommuting from school, at times). So, he'll be moving back in with us and paying room and board for a shared room with his brother, food, and utilities. All his other expenses with be his responsibility. Also, the amounts of food that I use are based on feeding the equivalent of four adults and five children, three of whom eat very little.
For breakfast on most days, I make three cups of organic steel-cut oats OR about 18 eggs and two pounds of bacon OR a triple batch of pancakes (I don't know what this entails as my husband makes it from scratch).
For lunch, if we are having deli sandwiches (our lunches run the gambit of just about everything), we'll go through about two pounds of meat (preferably nitrate free, but not always) and almost an entire loaf of whole wheat bread. Sometimes the kids like quesadillas, so I use about a dozen tortillas (we buy the uncooked 36 pack from Costco) and about 1.5 to 2 pounds of sharp cheddar cheese with 32 ounces of sour cream.
For dinner, I'll give you the example of Salisbury steak. I use three pounds of ground beef and about 5 pounds of potatoes. I've found a great mashed potato mix with only potatoes, butter, and salt. If I use this, I make two of the large packets. That brings me to our almost nightly lemon/olive oil salad of three hearts of organic romaine with 1/2 a package of organic grape tomatoes and an organic cucumber--all from Trader Joe's and less expensive than the conventionally grown produce in the supermarkets. I figure that we save a ton of money on medical expenses (we have private insurance) by eating healthy in the first place. My children are usually seen by our pediatrician for check-ups only.
We've recently eliminated all candy from our diets, except for special occasions. It threw me off guard a bit when one of my sons asked me if he could have an orange for "dessert." Also, between meals my children may choose a snack from bananas, oranges, organic apples, bell peppers, or carrots.
Believe it or not--even with the use of a hand sanitizer when we're out--my kids still catch a virus sometimes, but fight it off quickly--one by one. If they are stuffed up from a cold or have an earache, the best fix is xylitol (pronounced "zylitol") gum. For about $2, xylitol gum will demolish any ear infection in a day. No $30 doctor co-pay. No antibiotics. No pain. This is the most effective remedy that I've used. I have never seen it fail. If my children are too young to chew gum, I put some loose xylitol in the corners of their mouths before they go to bed. Since we've started using this technique, we've have never had an ear infection.
The biggest splurge on my food bill? Raw milk. The cost is $6.95 per half gallon. We buy two per week and only give the kids half a cup in the morning and half at night. If they have a lot of congestion, then we buy an extra one and let them drink more.
So, with all that being said, and keeping in mind that we shop the sales and don't just buy what we want, our grocery tally for an average month is about $1,000.
Living on two acres, it would be ideal to grow our own fruits and veggies. I don't know if it would be any cheaper, but it would be very convenient and nutritious. Right now, we have a few apple trees and a couple of orange and tangerine trees (our lemon tree was eaten by a gopher). They don't produce much. That's probably because it takes more than just planting them, setting up the irrigation, and returning in a year to see if there's any fruit.
The vegetable garden has been on my mind for a while. We have every critter imaginable, so I can't just spread some seed down and water every day. Between the birds, squirrels, rabbits, mice, gophers, every bug know to man, and our loyal watch dogs, there may be nothing left for us. I've considered a giant planter with a wooden bottom and high sides--but birds, squirrels, and mice would still have access.
Anyway, I've decided to scale it down--way down--in order to experiment this year. I have five large 16" diameter planters. I'm going to set those up on an old six-foot patio table in the sun and cover the whole thing with bird netting. If I do it well enough, it'll keep the crawling rodents out, too, while providing access to the "garden". I already have strawberry plants and will be transplanting them after this rain spell is over. Then I'll buy a variety of tomato seedlings. I'd like some cucumbers, but the vine would end up wrapping itself around the table a few times. Lettuce would be nice, but I've done that at another house and the bugs are very aggressive and wiggle their way to the center of the head. Plus, I'd need a ton! Next year, maybe we can do more directly in the ground.
OK, I think I'm ready. There's just one small detail: would someone please tell me how to keep the tomato bugs and slugs at bay?
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Apartment Envy
Last Friday, a Naval reservist friend of ours took our family and a few others on a tour of his frigate (why do I always feel like I'm cussing when I say that?). His wife invited another friend of hers. I had never met the other friend before, but I knew that she and her husband bought a 20 unit complex for around $500,000 in Tennessee a few months ago. After learning of our experience, our mutual friend tried to talk them out of it because they were buying with very little down (I can't remember how much), but they were adamant that they were doing the right thing.
As my reservist friend attempted to supply us with passes to get on the base, I had an opportunity to chat with the new apartment owner. Meanwhile, the Navy sent us through the ringer in order to gain access to the ship that my friend serves on (even though it was already arranged with the Captain). If terrorists have as hard a time accessing Navy bases as we did, our national security faces few threats (I doubt it works this way, though).
Anyway, Ismugly asked the other friend how the apartments were going. She said that they were cash flowing, so it was all good. Of course, my interest was piqued and my eyebrows were raised. Did she say "cash flowing"? Did I even remember what that meant? You see, when we were shopping for apartments, it was all about the monthly income. But after owning them for a couple of years, I began to think that "cash flow" meant money pouring out of our pockets and into the general accounts of the incompetent property managers.
No, I'm sure she meant that the apartments were paying her. She said that they flow $1,000 a month. What?! By now she could no longer see me in the van because I had slithered off the seat and onto the floor, totally deflated and dejected. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her and glad that it didn't turn into the disaster that I had predicted, but it really was the salt in the wound for me--a wound that's taking it's sweet time to heal.
Let's tally. After much experience managing up to a dozen properties at a time, we bought two apartments--one for $2,950,000 with almost 20% down, and one for $1,110,000 with 20% down and we couldn't squeeze a penny out of either of them in TWO whole years. As a matter of fact, we paid them lots and lots of money. Now my friend's friend buys one with very little down for $500,000, has zero property management and investment experience, and they flow a projected $12,000/year.
Needless to say, I was speechless.
She wasn't, though. What I found out was that her father-in-law is an experienced apartment investor in the same area of Tennessee. He found the apartment complex for them, hired his management company, and has been overseeing the property. Her husband does make trips back often, but mostly to visit his parents. Also, her father-in-law is a contractor and controls the expenses on her property very closely. He's even looking for another complex for them to buy.
So, what have I learned from this depressing episode:
1) I hate gloaters.
2) I'm green with envy, which is not a good color on me.
3) I should have married someone whose father was an experienced apartment investing contractor in Ohio and Kentucky.
4) I have a hard time believing people who say that they are doing much better than I.
5) How does anyone expect me to overcome my real estate losses with optimism and humor when I'm trying desperately not to be bitter from someone else's success?
6) I'm an idiot.
7) Local ownership--or, at the very least, representation--is key to making a commercial investment work.
I learned all this before we launched the three-hour tour (which we all thought was very informative and fascinating). So, for the entire time, I had to smile and pretend that I liked her. My green coloring was easily explained by the wooziness that I felt being on a perfectly still frigate docked at the pier. The worst part is that I really did like her. I bet her management company likes her, too.
As my reservist friend attempted to supply us with passes to get on the base, I had an opportunity to chat with the new apartment owner. Meanwhile, the Navy sent us through the ringer in order to gain access to the ship that my friend serves on (even though it was already arranged with the Captain). If terrorists have as hard a time accessing Navy bases as we did, our national security faces few threats (I doubt it works this way, though).
Anyway, I
No, I'm sure she meant that the apartments were paying her. She said that they flow $1,000 a month. What?! By now she could no longer see me in the van because I had slithered off the seat and onto the floor, totally deflated and dejected. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her and glad that it didn't turn into the disaster that I had predicted, but it really was the salt in the wound for me--a wound that's taking it's sweet time to heal.
Let's tally. After much experience managing up to a dozen properties at a time, we bought two apartments--one for $2,950,000 with almost 20% down, and one for $1,110,000 with 20% down and we couldn't squeeze a penny out of either of them in TWO whole years. As a matter of fact, we paid them lots and lots of money. Now my friend's friend buys one with very little down for $500,000, has zero property management and investment experience, and they flow a projected $12,000/year.
Needless to say, I was speechless.
She wasn't, though. What I found out was that her father-in-law is an experienced apartment investor in the same area of Tennessee. He found the apartment complex for them, hired his management company, and has been overseeing the property. Her husband does make trips back often, but mostly to visit his parents. Also, her father-in-law is a contractor and controls the expenses on her property very closely. He's even looking for another complex for them to buy.
So, what have I learned from this depressing episode:
1) I hate gloaters.
2) I'm green with envy, which is not a good color on me.
3) I should have married someone whose father was an experienced apartment investing contractor in Ohio and Kentucky.
4) I have a hard time believing people who say that they are doing much better than I.
5) How does anyone expect me to overcome my real estate losses with optimism and humor when I'm trying desperately not to be bitter from someone else's success?
6) I'm an idiot.
7) Local ownership--or, at the very least, representation--is key to making a commercial investment work.
I learned all this before we launched the three-hour tour (which we all thought was very informative and fascinating). So, for the entire time, I had to smile and pretend that I liked her. My green coloring was easily explained by the wooziness that I felt being on a perfectly still frigate docked at the pier. The worst part is that I really did like her. I bet her management company likes her, too.
Monday, January 7, 2008
It's Hammer Time
Whew! It was a long descent, but I finally made it down from Friday's soapbox. I feel much better now.
Well, it's January and our accountant sent us our tax organizer last week. My husband has been working on the year-ending books for our LLC's. It's time to hammer out those fateful numbers. I'm hoping to have the tragic news of our total losses to you by the beginning of February or sooner.
Talk about losses. Here is an article about rising from the ashes. Good ole MC Hammer is baaaack. He's found a new avenue to overcome the loss of his fortune and bankruptcy. He blew through $14,000,000 in money, and now a "small group of investors" is handing over $1,000,000 so that he can start an online dance contest web site. Okay. Am I the only one befuddled by this?
The article goes out of it's way to emphasize Hammer's technological savvy and entrepreneurial genius. But he lost $14M, remember? (I hope that others will be as generous with me at some point in the future.)
Maybe the big-time investors are holding off on real estate purchases, so they have some money to burn. And, since they just seem to be giving it away, I'll stand in line. I've developed a wealth (pardon the pun) of entrepreneurial ideas to spend their start-up cash on:
~Lying Bathroom Scale--set this scale to the weight on your driver's license! Feel good each time you flop onto it. It's portable enough to carry to family get-togethers and high school reunions to prove that your size is just an illusion.
~Dating Service--for a $250 per hour fee, we will inspect all of the clothes in your wardrobe and give you an approximate date of when they were in style.
~Adopt-A-Whale---for $1,000 a research scientist will attach your name to a whale's flipper. However, you have to be willing to share because your name may not be the only one on the whale. The number of tags allowed will be determined by the whale's buoyancy
~Pretend Family--$150 will buy you senseless sidewalk chalk drawings on your driveway in order to prove to the neighbors that you have kids. This will alleviate their suspicions that you are the childless couple who is filing the anonymous complaints about noise and trespassing with the police department, Child Protective Services, and the Humane Society.
~Kudos.com--for $15 a month we will send you a fake e-mail once a week from your boss, proclaiming your outstanding work performance and the fact that you are indispensable to the company. May be used as a reference when applying for other positions. **For entertainment purposes only!**
~Fake Foreclosure--Now, the lifestyle of your neighbors can be yours! For a small percentage of your assets, we will surprise your unsuspecting spouse by draining your bank account, maxing out your credit cards, claiming the title to your house, and scheduling couple's counseling in order to determine if your marriage is strong enough to withstand such a tremendous amount of stress. Only the most thoughtful husband will buy his wife a Fake Foreclosure.
Well, it's January and our accountant sent us our tax organizer last week. My husband has been working on the year-ending books for our LLC's. It's time to hammer out those fateful numbers. I'm hoping to have the tragic news of our total losses to you by the beginning of February or sooner.
Talk about losses. Here is an article about rising from the ashes. Good ole MC Hammer is baaaack. He's found a new avenue to overcome the loss of his fortune and bankruptcy. He blew through $14,000,000 in money, and now a "small group of investors" is handing over $1,000,000 so that he can start an online dance contest web site. Okay. Am I the only one befuddled by this?
The article goes out of it's way to emphasize Hammer's technological savvy and entrepreneurial genius. But he lost $14M, remember? (I hope that others will be as generous with me at some point in the future.)
Maybe the big-time investors are holding off on real estate purchases, so they have some money to burn. And, since they just seem to be giving it away, I'll stand in line. I've developed a wealth (pardon the pun) of entrepreneurial ideas to spend their start-up cash on:
~Lying Bathroom Scale--set this scale to the weight on your driver's license! Feel good each time you flop onto it. It's portable enough to carry to family get-togethers and high school reunions to prove that your size is just an illusion.
~Dating Service--for a $250 per hour fee, we will inspect all of the clothes in your wardrobe and give you an approximate date of when they were in style.
~Adopt-A-Whale---for $1,000 a research scientist will attach your name to a whale's flipper. However, you have to be willing to share because your name may not be the only one on the whale. The number of tags allowed will be determined by the whale's buoyancy
~Pretend Family--$150 will buy you senseless sidewalk chalk drawings on your driveway in order to prove to the neighbors that you have kids. This will alleviate their suspicions that you are the childless couple who is filing the anonymous complaints about noise and trespassing with the police department, Child Protective Services, and the Humane Society.
~Kudos.com--for $15 a month we will send you a fake e-mail once a week from your boss, proclaiming your outstanding work performance and the fact that you are indispensable to the company. May be used as a reference when applying for other positions. **For entertainment purposes only!**
~Fake Foreclosure--Now, the lifestyle of your neighbors can be yours! For a small percentage of your assets, we will surprise your unsuspecting spouse by draining your bank account, maxing out your credit cards, claiming the title to your house, and scheduling couple's counseling in order to determine if your marriage is strong enough to withstand such a tremendous amount of stress. Only the most thoughtful husband will buy his wife a Fake Foreclosure.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Boyz 2 Men
(Quick update: I'm still getting links from Google by people looking for "fake" pay stubs. If that's you, please reconsider your actions.)
11D
Some of you may be asking, "What's 11D?" I had the same question when I saw that a few hits to my blog were coming from there. I found that my blog was linked in this post (my site is linked to the word "bloggers" only). The post is about the "sub-culture" of "debt blogging." I had never heard of this term before. I guess it refers to people who have accumulated an inordinate amount of debt on their credit cards. The post on 11D even links to an entire list of debt blogs. Guess what, I'm NOT on that list. For good reason, too. If you are an 11D reader, I'm sorry, but I'm not a debt blogger--and hope never to be one. You may want to hit your "Back" key now.
When the doom and gloom bubble blog readers descended upon me because my good friend at HousingPANIC told them that I was a flipper and they believed it without reading any of my posts, I could almost understand the connection. After all, I did lose my money in real estate--just not that way. Yes, most of the comments I received made absolutely no sense considering my situation, but I good-naturedly published them to highlight the ignorance of those readers. I kind of felt sorry for most of them, too.
However, now I'm referred to as a blogger who is in credit card debt because of what? I bought too much furniture or went on too many vacations, none of which I could afford, so I put everything on my credit cards? Huh? If you've read anything that I've written, I'd say that I was just the opposite. I have no credit card debt--and I only did during our most trying time of apartment ownership to purchase food and other necessities. We don't even have a car payment! I refer to my lack of spending on frivolous items so often in my posts, that I can't just link you to one in order to prove it.
I'm not only annoyed by the fact that I've been misidentified, yet again, but I'm referred to on a blog that's sub-titled, "Leave saving the world to the men? I don't think so." What's that supposed to mean?
I have a wonderful husband and FIVE amazing sons. My very brief perusal of the site shows a picture of the author's two sons and refers to her husband. So she has plenty of men in her life, too. And I'm sure that she adores them just as much as I value my family. Maybe her subtitle is tongue-in-cheek. I haven't read all of her posts, so I don't know how she portrays herself.
But when my radar senses any type of male bashing, my wife-and-mother horns begin to appear from the hiding place deep (not real deep) within my forehead. I won't bash the author of 11D because I refuse to stoop to the level of how I've been treated in the past. However, I will talk in general about raising boys into men. (I'm about to rant and rave off topic like I have never in the past, so you just may want to reconsider continuing with this post.)
My husband and I teach our sons on a daily basis what it means to be real men. This is what we try to tell them and what my husband models:
Being a man means . . .
. . . recognizing that there is a God and praying every day.
. . . being honest.
. . . taking responsibility for all of your actions and not being a victim.
. . . honoring your commitments and keeping your word.
. . . being the head of your family through servant leadership.
. . . treating others with respect and kindness in all things.
. . . running ahead of everyone and opening the door for them (we're still working on this one).
. . . it's okay to rough play and to channel your endless energy productively, but know how to control it and don't hurt anyone or break anything.
. . . allowing women to embrace and cherish their feminine genius.
There are so many other manly attributes that I don't have the time nor the space to list them here.
In today's world, when men's contributions to society are downplayed by PC rhetoric, I spend an inordinate amount of time instilling in my boys the value that they bring to this world. And I do the same for my two little girls. If my boys are proud of the characteristics that make them male, does that minimize who I or my girls are as females? Heck, no. Read my blog. I'm sure you'll find that I'm a strong, intelligent (that could be debated somewhat--especially with the "sandpaper on the wooden toilet seat" incident), confident, and very out-spoken human being. The more I embrace my femininity and teach my daughters to do the same, the better I am at allowing my strengths to impact the world around me, but, mostly, my family.
(I should tell you that I spent many years as an investigative analyst in Equal Employment Opportunity with a large city government. I know what gender discrimination and sexual harassment are. I performed the training for 10,000 city employees. If all men were raised with the qualities that I recite above, our society wouldn't have these problems. Also, in my investigation of hundreds of complaints over the years, I found very few to be based on discrimination, but more on how people treat others, or on poor management skills. Unfortunately, gender discrimination does exist, but not on the scale that some will lead you to believe.)
It's troubling that many people today equate a feminine identification to weakness, subordination, marginalization, and inferiority. Frankly, it's insulting to me. Therefore, you see women defining equality to men as taking on innately male characteristics. Unfortunately, this suppresses the best of who they are. I'm proud to be a woman and I'm proud that my sons will grow up as productive men (two of them are already there!).
With the qualities of both genders flourishing in this society, I believe that many of our challenges will find creative solutions. And, yes, if need be, I would leave saving the world to men--my men, anyway.
11D
Some of you may be asking, "What's 11D?" I had the same question when I saw that a few hits to my blog were coming from there. I found that my blog was linked in this post (my site is linked to the word "bloggers" only). The post is about the "sub-culture" of "debt blogging." I had never heard of this term before. I guess it refers to people who have accumulated an inordinate amount of debt on their credit cards. The post on 11D even links to an entire list of debt blogs. Guess what, I'm NOT on that list. For good reason, too. If you are an 11D reader, I'm sorry, but I'm not a debt blogger--and hope never to be one. You may want to hit your "Back" key now.
When the doom and gloom bubble blog readers descended upon me because my good friend at HousingPANIC told them that I was a flipper and they believed it without reading any of my posts, I could almost understand the connection. After all, I did lose my money in real estate--just not that way. Yes, most of the comments I received made absolutely no sense considering my situation, but I good-naturedly published them to highlight the ignorance of those readers. I kind of felt sorry for most of them, too.
However, now I'm referred to as a blogger who is in credit card debt because of what? I bought too much furniture or went on too many vacations, none of which I could afford, so I put everything on my credit cards? Huh? If you've read anything that I've written, I'd say that I was just the opposite. I have no credit card debt--and I only did during our most trying time of apartment ownership to purchase food and other necessities. We don't even have a car payment! I refer to my lack of spending on frivolous items so often in my posts, that I can't just link you to one in order to prove it.
I'm not only annoyed by the fact that I've been misidentified, yet again, but I'm referred to on a blog that's sub-titled, "Leave saving the world to the men? I don't think so." What's that supposed to mean?
I have a wonderful husband and FIVE amazing sons. My very brief perusal of the site shows a picture of the author's two sons and refers to her husband. So she has plenty of men in her life, too. And I'm sure that she adores them just as much as I value my family. Maybe her subtitle is tongue-in-cheek. I haven't read all of her posts, so I don't know how she portrays herself.
But when my radar senses any type of male bashing, my wife-and-mother horns begin to appear from the hiding place deep (not real deep) within my forehead. I won't bash the author of 11D because I refuse to stoop to the level of how I've been treated in the past. However, I will talk in general about raising boys into men. (I'm about to rant and rave off topic like I have never in the past, so you just may want to reconsider continuing with this post.)
My husband and I teach our sons on a daily basis what it means to be real men. This is what we try to tell them and what my husband models:
Being a man means . . .
. . . recognizing that there is a God and praying every day.
. . . being honest.
. . . taking responsibility for all of your actions and not being a victim.
. . . honoring your commitments and keeping your word.
. . . being the head of your family through servant leadership.
. . . treating others with respect and kindness in all things.
. . . running ahead of everyone and opening the door for them (we're still working on this one).
. . . it's okay to rough play and to channel your endless energy productively, but know how to control it and don't hurt anyone or break anything.
. . . allowing women to embrace and cherish their feminine genius.
There are so many other manly attributes that I don't have the time nor the space to list them here.
In today's world, when men's contributions to society are downplayed by PC rhetoric, I spend an inordinate amount of time instilling in my boys the value that they bring to this world. And I do the same for my two little girls. If my boys are proud of the characteristics that make them male, does that minimize who I or my girls are as females? Heck, no. Read my blog. I'm sure you'll find that I'm a strong, intelligent (that could be debated somewhat--especially with the "sandpaper on the wooden toilet seat" incident), confident, and very out-spoken human being. The more I embrace my femininity and teach my daughters to do the same, the better I am at allowing my strengths to impact the world around me, but, mostly, my family.
(I should tell you that I spent many years as an investigative analyst in Equal Employment Opportunity with a large city government. I know what gender discrimination and sexual harassment are. I performed the training for 10,000 city employees. If all men were raised with the qualities that I recite above, our society wouldn't have these problems. Also, in my investigation of hundreds of complaints over the years, I found very few to be based on discrimination, but more on how people treat others, or on poor management skills. Unfortunately, gender discrimination does exist, but not on the scale that some will lead you to believe.)
It's troubling that many people today equate a feminine identification to weakness, subordination, marginalization, and inferiority. Frankly, it's insulting to me. Therefore, you see women defining equality to men as taking on innately male characteristics. Unfortunately, this suppresses the best of who they are. I'm proud to be a woman and I'm proud that my sons will grow up as productive men (two of them are already there!).
With the qualities of both genders flourishing in this society, I believe that many of our challenges will find creative solutions. And, yes, if need be, I would leave saving the world to men--my men, anyway.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I Stuck My Hand Where?!
I had an embarrassing situation with my toilets, specifically one--the half bath. It had a permanent stain around the water line. I'd say that it was the inevitable Southern California hard water deposit, but this mark was black. Looked like a dirty toilet. I would scrub that sucker and blast it with bleach. I even used the best toilet cleaner that I've ever come across, the new Clorox one. Squirt it in, return a few minutes later, flush. Viola, a clean toilet. It didn't work on my nasty, nasty stain, though.
It got to the point where I was considering having the toilet replaced. But, as you now know, we couldn't afford it. We have people over here all the time and I didn't want to have to explain the ring every time someone walked into the bathroom to do their business: "Oh, just a minute, I need to let you know that the toilet bowl is clean. Really, I just cleaned it. But it has a stain that I'm not able to remove. But, don't worry it's clean. Really."
The house is only seven years old, so it's not like there's mold and mildew growing out of every edifice. It's a new looking house. We owned a 50 year-old house by Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego in the early 90's. That one had a tub that was so stained it looked like it smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for five decades. That was really embarrassing because you know that every person who walks into your bathroom peeks behind the shower curtain. Ain't no way we could scrub that puppy clean!
Anyway, back to my toilet. So, over Christmas, my sister and her family stayed with us. I gave her the "my toilet is really clean" spiel. She casually mentioned that she had the same problem in one of the houses they lived in and she told our brother. Now, my brother can fix ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. He told her to use fine sandpaper on the stain because it was porcelain and it would take it off. She said it worked like a charm. I couldn't wait until she left (not really) so that I could get to work on the commode.
So there I was. Fine sandpaper in hand. Looking down at my toilet. The first thing I did was clean it with the new Clorox cleaner that I love. I even gave it an extra scrub. Then I wondered if sandpaper worked when it was wet. Then I realized that getting it wet would mean that my hand would actually be in my toilet. Hold on here! My hand has to be in my toilet? I have seven children who have spit up, pooped, vomited, and rubbed their snotters on me. I even watch as they dig their fingers into their collective noses and, in one fluid motion, scoop it directly into their mouths. But as I stood gazing into my permanently stained bowl, with raised sandpaper in hand, I never bargained for this.
This is the place where everyone's unmentionables happen. Where visitors go when they have to go. With my five boys, it happens everywhere in the bathroom if they don't concentrate on what they're doing. It's where they run when they have the runs--or the stomach flu. And I'm supposed to stick my hand directly in it? OK, if it'll save me some money, I'm game.
I had another problem, though. I decided that the sandpaper would work better if the toilet drained and I dried it out with a rag (I'm actually still gagging as I write this). As I gingerly peered behind the toilet, I found that the water shut off valve was in a very hard-to-reach place. I, literally, had to stick my head part way into the toilet to turn off the water. I held my breath. Not that I expected to take a dive, but I didn't want to risk smelling anything--even the Clorox. Way too close for comfort here. (Now I know why plumbers are so expensive and how they manage to show their crack while they're working.)
Once the water was off, I flushed the toilet and wiped (still gagging) the inside of the bowl with a utility rag (fancy name for an old kitchen towel). I started to scrub with the sandpaper. What do you know? The stain disappeared!
There was a little bit of water left in the bottom of the bowl. I was so enthusiastic about getting the black off that my hand slipped under the water line (I'm going to puke just thinking about it) a couple of times. End result--sparkling toilet! Just don't expect me to do the same for any of my rentals.
By now, I was mesmerized by the magic of sandpaper. I decided that I would use it to clean the front underside of the toilet seat. Guess what? It's not porcelain. It's painted wood. Do you know what that means? Yes, my husband is going to Home Depot tomorrow to buy a new toilet seat. You live and learn. At least we didn't have to go through the expense of changing the entire bowl. I actually tried to repaint the toilet seat. It didn't work.
I did have another idea, though. I called out to my son to get me another sheet of sandpaper. (I don't even know where it is in the garage.) Our third bathroom is another one that's accessible for guests to use. When the house was custom built, someone didn't put the vanity on exactly level. It looks good and all, but a small amount of water tends to pool in the corner--we usually keep a folded up utility rag there--except when we have people over. This has caused dirt and water deposits to stain the fake marble. I have scrubbed it to no avail. I even used a straight razor which helped a little. But then it just looked like dirt that had been scraped away with a razor blade.
I took the new sheet of sandpaper and attacked the vanity and the sink. The result was amazing! It looks brand new. My only question is: how often can I do that until the vanity finally disappears into a massive ball of powder?
It got to the point where I was considering having the toilet replaced. But, as you now know, we couldn't afford it. We have people over here all the time and I didn't want to have to explain the ring every time someone walked into the bathroom to do their business: "Oh, just a minute, I need to let you know that the toilet bowl is clean. Really, I just cleaned it. But it has a stain that I'm not able to remove. But, don't worry it's clean. Really."
The house is only seven years old, so it's not like there's mold and mildew growing out of every edifice. It's a new looking house. We owned a 50 year-old house by Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego in the early 90's. That one had a tub that was so stained it looked like it smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for five decades. That was really embarrassing because you know that every person who walks into your bathroom peeks behind the shower curtain. Ain't no way we could scrub that puppy clean!
Anyway, back to my toilet. So, over Christmas, my sister and her family stayed with us. I gave her the "my toilet is really clean" spiel. She casually mentioned that she had the same problem in one of the houses they lived in and she told our brother. Now, my brother can fix ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. He told her to use fine sandpaper on the stain because it was porcelain and it would take it off. She said it worked like a charm. I couldn't wait until she left (not really) so that I could get to work on the commode.
So there I was. Fine sandpaper in hand. Looking down at my toilet. The first thing I did was clean it with the new Clorox cleaner that I love. I even gave it an extra scrub. Then I wondered if sandpaper worked when it was wet. Then I realized that getting it wet would mean that my hand would actually be in my toilet. Hold on here! My hand has to be in my toilet? I have seven children who have spit up, pooped, vomited, and rubbed their snotters on me. I even watch as they dig their fingers into their collective noses and, in one fluid motion, scoop it directly into their mouths. But as I stood gazing into my permanently stained bowl, with raised sandpaper in hand, I never bargained for this.
This is the place where everyone's unmentionables happen. Where visitors go when they have to go. With my five boys, it happens everywhere in the bathroom if they don't concentrate on what they're doing. It's where they run when they have the runs--or the stomach flu. And I'm supposed to stick my hand directly in it? OK, if it'll save me some money, I'm game.
I had another problem, though. I decided that the sandpaper would work better if the toilet drained and I dried it out with a rag (I'm actually still gagging as I write this). As I gingerly peered behind the toilet, I found that the water shut off valve was in a very hard-to-reach place. I, literally, had to stick my head part way into the toilet to turn off the water. I held my breath. Not that I expected to take a dive, but I didn't want to risk smelling anything--even the Clorox. Way too close for comfort here. (Now I know why plumbers are so expensive and how they manage to show their crack while they're working.)
Once the water was off, I flushed the toilet and wiped (still gagging) the inside of the bowl with a utility rag (fancy name for an old kitchen towel). I started to scrub with the sandpaper. What do you know? The stain disappeared!
There was a little bit of water left in the bottom of the bowl. I was so enthusiastic about getting the black off that my hand slipped under the water line (I'm going to puke just thinking about it) a couple of times. End result--sparkling toilet! Just don't expect me to do the same for any of my rentals.
By now, I was mesmerized by the magic of sandpaper. I decided that I would use it to clean the front underside of the toilet seat. Guess what? It's not porcelain. It's painted wood. Do you know what that means? Yes, my husband is going to Home Depot tomorrow to buy a new toilet seat. You live and learn. At least we didn't have to go through the expense of changing the entire bowl. I actually tried to repaint the toilet seat. It didn't work.
I did have another idea, though. I called out to my son to get me another sheet of sandpaper. (I don't even know where it is in the garage.) Our third bathroom is another one that's accessible for guests to use. When the house was custom built, someone didn't put the vanity on exactly level. It looks good and all, but a small amount of water tends to pool in the corner--we usually keep a folded up utility rag there--except when we have people over. This has caused dirt and water deposits to stain the fake marble. I have scrubbed it to no avail. I even used a straight razor which helped a little. But then it just looked like dirt that had been scraped away with a razor blade.
I took the new sheet of sandpaper and attacked the vanity and the sink. The result was amazing! It looks brand new. My only question is: how often can I do that until the vanity finally disappears into a massive ball of powder?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?
(Well, I'm still being linked from Google searches for "fake pay stubs," but no one has been brave enough to explain the rationale behind needing one. What a seedy business! If I have any new info, I'll let you know.)
I am so partied out! I can't even begin to tell you how many celebrations my husband, children, and I have attended, or will be attending over the course of two weeks. Don't get me wrong. I'm having the best time! Just tiring~especially with a one-year old. Up a bunch at night because we're off schedule.
Today, I'm actually going to do some whining--or, at least what I consider to be whining. You see, I'll be talking about something of very little importance in relation to many things in this world (God, family, health, life, world hunger, peace), but it's been bugging me nevertheless.
OK, here it is: My husband and I are in a conundrum. We need a bit more room in the house. Although we have, what I consider, an ample amount of square footage (over 2600), we don't have enough bedrooms (just four--three of which are very large). We need a minimum of five bedrooms and an office. (I know, "Oh, poor thing!")
So for the past several months, we've been getting estimates on a variety of scenarios:
1) Convert our gigantic attached garage to a bedroom, office, and family room (over 800 square feet for $37,000 not including permits, paint, or flooring), or
2) Convert the one-car garage to a bedroom and office (almost 300 square feet for $17,500), or
3) Convert the back part of the garage to an office with no direct access to the house (120 square feet for $7,000) or
4) A combination of #2 AND enclose our covered patio with mostly glass to take advantage of our killer view (over 500 square feet for $43,500) or
5) Enclose our patio into a sun room (with "pop and sizzle," as the sales rep claims) for $38,000 (just a total rip-off no matter how many sf are involved--240 to be exact), or, and this is the least desirable,
6) Do nothing. Reorganize with the space that we have now. Or just move out of the Master Bedroom, so the baby can have it all to herself.
Unfortunately, my husband is leaning heavily toward #6. I think it's the most prudent because we shouldn't do anything until we have all the money saved to do it, but--can I whine a bit more here--I need to move the baby out of my room! She's a light sleeper, so any movement or light awakens her. When she pulls herself up and sees me, she goes quite crazy and has a hard time self soothing. Meanwhile, I lay there with the covers pulled over my head, pretending that she doesn't see me (there you go, I really am an ostrich!), even in the dark. If my husband so much as breathes, I bop him on the arm. No reading before I fall asleep. No talking in the room. No flushing the toilet. No lights on after she's down. I have a new respect for people who don't have their sight because walking through my room and bathroom in the pitch black is like trying to get around without my glasses.
Am I whining enough here, or would you like to hear some more?
Anyway, we've been going around about this for at least six months. Then, yesterday, I saw this and the clouds parted and the angels started singing:
Price $549,900 (Look at this price!!!)
Year Built: 2006
House size: 4,580 sq. feet (That's FOUR THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY whopping sq. ft.)Lot size: 190,357 sq. feet (Tons of room--OK, so most of it is dirt, but there's lots of it!)
Status: Active
Bedrooms: 6 (Would you look at that?! That's the equivalent of the number of bedrooms we need!)
Bathrooms: 3.00 (Yikes! This may not work. We're squeezed into 3.5 now--whine, whine, whine.)
Pool: N
Spa: N
View: Y
Type: Single Family Residence / detached
Property Description (See, it's literally shouting out to me to go see it.)
THIS 4580 SQ FOOT CUSTOM HOME IS BANK OWNED (that's a plus) AND NOT A SHORT SALE. THIS ONE IS READY FOR A NEW FAMILY NOW. 4.37 ACRES OF LAND FOR HORSES AND FUN (I like fun--remember all the parties we've been going to?). THIS 6BD / 3BA HAS A LARGE GOURMET KITCHEN (perfect for entertaining) AND FAMILY ROOM (perfect for people with, well, a family) WITH CUSTOM WOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT AND WITH GREAT VIEWS OF THE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEY THIS IS A WINNER. THE BANK WANTS THIS ONE GONE NOW SO SUBMIT ALL OFFERS (that's all I need to hear--SOLD!).
Features
• Custom Built
• Ceiling Fan (Uh, just one?)
• Driveway (Yes, but it doesn't appear to be paved.)
• French Door (Can you have one French door--really?)
• Great Room
• Horse Property Improved
• Lot over 40,000 sq ft
• Main Floor Bedroom
• Main Floor Master Bedroom
• Recreational Vehicle Access/Parking
• Desert View (What desert--it's got my same zip code)
• Panoramic View
• Valley View
You notice that I didn't give you the MLS or parcel numbers. That's because this house is all MINE. It's MINE, I tell you. MINE, MINE, MINE! (Fade to maniacal laughter and wringing of hands.)
There's also one more teensy-weensy, little detail--I can't find it on any map. Well, my Thomas' Guide is out-dated. And you know as well as I that Mapquest can't find everything. OK, so maybe it's in the boonies off of miles of bumpy, washboard dirt roads. Listen, with over 4,500 square feet on over four acres, will I need to ever go anywhere else? I can grow my own food or just go to Costco once a year and store everything in the giant house (remember, it has a "LARGE gourmet kitchen"). The kids can go out and play for days on end and, as long as the mountain lions don't have them for dinner, they'll have space to endlessly explore.
The best part is that, with the price so low (and I bet I can get it for closer to $500K), we can keep the house we live in now and rent it out--even with the inevitable rise of our interest rate this summer. Heck, we can even sell ours in this rotten market and still be ahead (although I'd be a deadhead to do that).
I have to run. I need to go, um, feed the kids--another breakfast because they're darn hungry kids. Do you, by chance, remember the name of the post where I list my agent's number?
I am so partied out! I can't even begin to tell you how many celebrations my husband, children, and I have attended, or will be attending over the course of two weeks. Don't get me wrong. I'm having the best time! Just tiring~especially with a one-year old. Up a bunch at night because we're off schedule.
Today, I'm actually going to do some whining--or, at least what I consider to be whining. You see, I'll be talking about something of very little importance in relation to many things in this world (God, family, health, life, world hunger, peace), but it's been bugging me nevertheless.
OK, here it is: My husband and I are in a conundrum. We need a bit more room in the house. Although we have, what I consider, an ample amount of square footage (over 2600), we don't have enough bedrooms (just four--three of which are very large). We need a minimum of five bedrooms and an office. (I know, "Oh, poor thing!")
So for the past several months, we've been getting estimates on a variety of scenarios:
1) Convert our gigantic attached garage to a bedroom, office, and family room (over 800 square feet for $37,000 not including permits, paint, or flooring), or
2) Convert the one-car garage to a bedroom and office (almost 300 square feet for $17,500), or
3) Convert the back part of the garage to an office with no direct access to the house (120 square feet for $7,000) or
4) A combination of #2 AND enclose our covered patio with mostly glass to take advantage of our killer view (over 500 square feet for $43,500) or
5) Enclose our patio into a sun room (with "pop and sizzle," as the sales rep claims) for $38,000 (just a total rip-off no matter how many sf are involved--240 to be exact), or, and this is the least desirable,
6) Do nothing. Reorganize with the space that we have now. Or just move out of the Master Bedroom, so the baby can have it all to herself.
Unfortunately, my husband is leaning heavily toward #6. I think it's the most prudent because we shouldn't do anything until we have all the money saved to do it, but--can I whine a bit more here--I need to move the baby out of my room! She's a light sleeper, so any movement or light awakens her. When she pulls herself up and sees me, she goes quite crazy and has a hard time self soothing. Meanwhile, I lay there with the covers pulled over my head, pretending that she doesn't see me (there you go, I really am an ostrich!), even in the dark. If my husband so much as breathes, I bop him on the arm. No reading before I fall asleep. No talking in the room. No flushing the toilet. No lights on after she's down. I have a new respect for people who don't have their sight because walking through my room and bathroom in the pitch black is like trying to get around without my glasses.
Am I whining enough here, or would you like to hear some more?
Anyway, we've been going around about this for at least six months. Then, yesterday, I saw this and the clouds parted and the angels started singing:
Price $549,900 (Look at this price!!!)Year Built: 2006
House size: 4,580 sq. feet (That's FOUR THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY whopping sq. ft.)Lot size: 190,357 sq. feet (Tons of room--OK, so most of it is dirt, but there's lots of it!)
Status: Active
Bedrooms: 6 (Would you look at that?! That's the equivalent of the number of bedrooms we need!)
Bathrooms: 3.00 (Yikes! This may not work. We're squeezed into 3.5 now--whine, whine, whine.)
Pool: N
Spa: N
View: Y
Type: Single Family Residence / detached
Property Description (See, it's literally shouting out to me to go see it.)
THIS 4580 SQ FOOT CUSTOM HOME IS BANK OWNED (that's a plus) AND NOT A SHORT SALE. THIS ONE IS READY FOR A NEW FAMILY NOW. 4.37 ACRES OF LAND FOR HORSES AND FUN (I like fun--remember all the parties we've been going to?). THIS 6BD / 3BA HAS A LARGE GOURMET KITCHEN (perfect for entertaining) AND FAMILY ROOM (perfect for people with, well, a family) WITH CUSTOM WOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT AND WITH GREAT VIEWS OF THE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEY THIS IS A WINNER. THE BANK WANTS THIS ONE GONE NOW SO SUBMIT ALL OFFERS (that's all I need to hear--SOLD!).
Features
• Custom Built
• Ceiling Fan (Uh, just one?)
• Driveway (Yes, but it doesn't appear to be paved.)
• French Door (Can you have one French door--really?)
• Great Room
• Horse Property Improved
• Lot over 40,000 sq ft
• Main Floor Bedroom
• Main Floor Master Bedroom
• Recreational Vehicle Access/Parking
• Desert View (What desert--it's got my same zip code)
• Panoramic View
• Valley View
You notice that I didn't give you the MLS or parcel numbers. That's because this house is all MINE. It's MINE, I tell you. MINE, MINE, MINE! (Fade to maniacal laughter and wringing of hands.)
There's also one more teensy-weensy, little detail--I can't find it on any map. Well, my Thomas' Guide is out-dated. And you know as well as I that Mapquest can't find everything. OK, so maybe it's in the boonies off of miles of bumpy, washboard dirt roads. Listen, with over 4,500 square feet on over four acres, will I need to ever go anywhere else? I can grow my own food or just go to Costco once a year and store everything in the giant house (remember, it has a "LARGE gourmet kitchen"). The kids can go out and play for days on end and, as long as the mountain lions don't have them for dinner, they'll have space to endlessly explore.
The best part is that, with the price so low (and I bet I can get it for closer to $500K), we can keep the house we live in now and rent it out--even with the inevitable rise of our interest rate this summer. Heck, we can even sell ours in this rotten market and still be ahead (although I'd be a deadhead to do that).
I have to run. I need to go, um, feed the kids--another breakfast because they're darn hungry kids. Do you, by chance, remember the name of the post where I list my agent's number?
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